In the beginning..

A few months before getting pregnant with my youngest..I had this feeling something would "go wrong" with this baby.I kept telling myself its a lie and never spoke of it to people..I thought it was just fear...During my pregnancy to him, that thought would creep in every now and again, when it did I just prayed and let it go as nothing more then the Satan trying to provoke fear in me.

My sweet baby was born May 24th 2009 at 2:50 p.m. he was 7lbs10oz 22in long.. Perfect in every way! After being cleaned and checked he was handed to me to feed, we took pictures and many started to come in to visit him.About 30 min after birth he was very very shaky and had low blood sugar ...He was taken from my arms and sent to the NICU, my husband left with him leaving me alone with my thoughts...Let me tell you all those fears came flooding in like a dam that just broke.At this point I had never told anyone of that nagging fear that seemed to linger around.I felt as if Satan was dancing around me with joy,my bf came up there after getting the text and wheeled me down to the Nicu to see my baby boy..He seemed fine to me minus the shaking.After about 5 hours he was sent back to my room and all was said to be ok....

That first night he was a fussy lil one and seemed to either be hiccuping or sneezing all the time. But being my third I wasn't over concerned "just tired". We went home that next day.

At day 8 is when things just started going crazy..He woke at 1 am with crying and by 2 that afternoon I called the doctor saying he was shaking and crying uncontrollably. His doctor advised me to take him to the er since he had a low blood sugar history. The hospital admitted him being so young and how bad he was crying..We stayed there two days in which he cried and never slept, THE DOCTOR WAS BAFFLED, his fin diagnose was he had allergy's to my breast milk.. So I went home and stopped eating everything to no relive in sight!

It wasn't till he was 4weeks that I was at the ER again, it was 1 in the morning and I was alone..He"doc" walked in and my world came to a screaming stop.."I think I may have quit breathing for a moment".He said you may want to get him checked for brain hypoxy.Me not having a clue what that was asked and that's when I first heard the words Cerebral Palsy.